I share my name with this jackass?

I got bored the other day and decided to google a few variations of my name. A search for "Alexander K. Gunkel" predictably yielded great results: the top three were about me. "Alexander Gunkel" also performed well.

The problems started when I got to "Alex Gunkel", which returned my retarded doppelganger as the top hit. Check out this dipshit's profile!

This shit is simply unbelievable:

Interests: MUSIC!!! Playing guitar and hanging out with Kylee b/c we are all BMF's!! aND HANGING OUT WITH PIMPS AND PIMPETTES! SINGING SONGS!!! 4WHEELERS!!! FO SHO!!
Expertise: BEING A PIMP/GANGSTER.. IT COMES NATRAL. EATING!!!!!,CHILLIN OUT WITH FRIENDS, pLAYING bass gUITAR

Now, you could say "hey, he's only sixteen years old and therefore permitted to be a fucking retard." Normally, I'd agree. However, he's got my name! His mere existence on the internet borders on defamation!

Even when I was 16, I was never this idiotic. "Being a pimp/gangster" -- What the fuck? I'm sure the "pimpettes" are falling all over each other to suck this junior rock star off.

Alex Gunkel, I may not blast your pimp/gangster ass off the internet but I'm going to bury you in Google's index. Do a search for "Alex Gunkel" and you'll be on page 23. However, thanks to this post, your ranking as "retarded doppelganger" has probably gone up a few notches.