The Majority of Americans Are Retarded

According to the New York Times, a poll released on Tuesday finds that the majority of Americans are retarded:

The poll found that 42 percent of respondents held strict creationist views, agreeing that "living things have existed in their present form since the beginning of time."

In contrast, 48 percent said they believed that humans had evolved over time. But of those, 18 percent said that evolution was "guided by a supreme being," and 26 percent said that evolution occurred through natural selection. In all, 64 percent said they were open to the idea of teaching creationism in addition to evolution, while 38 percent favored replacing evolution with creationism.

President Bush joined the debate on Aug. 2, telling reporters that both evolution and the theory of intelligent design should be taught in schools "so people can understand what the debate is about."

I can explain what the debate is about quite simply: It's a debate between science and religion; between the quest for objective truth about the universe and dogmatic bullshit dreamed up by primitives.

You'll have to excuse me while I go pound some nails into my clue-by-four.