No, I won't fix your computer!

[RANT]

I will not fix your computer. I don't care if you'll pay me, I don't have the spare time to spend fixing your computer. After dealing with work, my family and my house I am lucky if I get an hour per night to do the things I would much rather spend all day doing: reading and working on my projects.

Five days a week, from 7:30 AM to 5 PM, I do IT work and have to support and use Microsoft's low-grade, half-assed, crappy products. I do this because it pays well and my genius brain makes the work relatively easy. I do not do it because I love it. After work hours the last thing I want to do is work on your broken, virus infested pile of crap.

Leave me the hell alone or I'll reformat your Goddamned hard drive and install Linspire on it!!!!

Now it's time for...

My Official Policy

These are the people I will happily help with their computers:
1) My wife
2) My wife's parents and her sister
3) My friend Henry
4) I will also generally do my best to help anyone having problems with their Apple Macintosh.

If you aren't on that list you get to suck my balls! If you do a real good job, I might let you pay me $150/hr to fix your pile of crap.

[/RANT]